Retraining My Thoughts

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and just picked at every little flaw that you could find? If so, you’re probably not alone. I have personally stood at my bathroom counter, gazing into the mirror at myself like I was a two headed beast, tail and all. 

My nose, slightly upturned with an indention down the tip, somewhat resembles that of a slithering, reptilian snoot. 

My eyes are situated close together on my face, giving even more surface area to my already round face. 

In part one, We learned that our thoughts are powerful and they affect the way we view ourselves whether we intend for it to or not. The bible tells us that the power of life and death lies in our tongue. (Proverbs 18:21) 

The words we speak are not insignificant, in fact they are inducive to our responses in all situations. 

What we speak about ourselves is generally how we actually view ourselves, even if you add a little joke to the end to make other people laugh. Re-training how you think isn’t going to be an exactly fun ride; it WILL be filled with bumps and even an occasional bruise but what matters most is that you try and try again.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, so I’ve heard. 

Had Thomas Edison given up after the first 100  times we wouldn’t have the luxury of basking under the glaring lights in our cubicles at work. Instead we would be typing away by the light of a kerosene lamp. Henry Ford went bankrupt multiple times before finally coming out on top with the Ford Motor Company. After one show, Elvis Presley was kicked out of the Grand Ole Opry after only one show, being told, “You ain’t goin’ nowhere, son. You ought to go back to drivin’ a truck.” But, here we are, over 60 years later, and Elvis is still known as the King of Rock & Roll. 

The point is, there is no growth, no progress, without a little bit of pain. 

Remember when you were 10 years old, lying in bed with a dull yet painful ache throbbing in your shins, ankles and any other part of your body you could think of? Every bone in your body was growing and though it was painful, you reaped the benefits of the pain by being a full grown adult today. Without that pain, we would be stuck in our 10 year old skeletons for the rest of our lives, so, praise God for growth spurts. So, while this may be hard, don’t give up. Try and try and try and try again. There is no secret motto to chant. You don’t count to ten and say the magic word.

Get this – all you have to do is speak positive. *MIND BLOWN*. 

Take whatever negative comment you thought just now and SPEAK the opposite aloud.

Yes, out loud. You may look crazy, but it works. 

If you’re in the bathroom getting ready for church and your hair won’t cooperate so you’ve thought “I HATE my hair, I’m no good at this”, out loud say “I love my hair, thank you Jesus for giving me hair so beautiful.”

If you’re talking to someone and you feel like you just put your foot in your mouth so you try to backtrack and even that doesn’t work you think, “Why can’t you just talk like a normal person? You sound like an idiot. You literally can’t even speak English.” out loud say “I can speak well. I am not an idiot.” 

Yeah, it seems weird and foreign to you since this is something that isn’t typical. But, if you never change the process you’ll always get the same end result. Positivity isn’t about being fake or even about seeing the glass half full. 

Words can either kindle your flame or act as a wet blanket and smother any shred of confidence you might have at any given time.

So, the next time you’re standing before a mirror don’t scowl because you have a pooch. Don’t think about all the ways you could lose 10 pounds in one week just to hopefully be prettier before the next Sunday rolls around. Instead, look yourself in the eye and say out loud, “I am beautiful. I am worth it. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” 

When I started doing this, yes, I felt silly. To be completely honest, the first couple of days were difficult. I remember looking at myself in the mirror, speaking the words out loud, with tears flowing down my cheeks. I didn’t believe a word I was saying. 

But after a few days I noticed that I wasn’t picking at my appearance as much. I didn’t feel the need to appear as perfect. 

My belief in my own beauty was growing. 

Now. when someone compliments me on my appearance, or a job well done, I am able to say thank you and actually mean it. When someone close to me tells me how beautiful I look, I am able to say “Thank you!” with a smile on my face. I don’t look down or to the side. I look at the complimenter with confidence because I KNOW that I actually am beautiful and they aren’t just saying it to make me feel better.

Saying thank you is not being prideful.

Previously, when being complimented I wouldn’t believe what they were telling me and would only press my lips together in an awkward smile and sheepishly say thanks. On the flip side, if someone did not compliment me on my appearance I would instantly feel ugly and never want to wear that outfit again. In fact, I still have clothes in my closet that I have only worn once because I wasn’t complimented while wearing them so I didn’t feel pretty.

 When this happens now, because YES it still happens, I look at myself in the mirror and compliment myself;

“Becca, you look beautiful today,” 

“That top looks so nice, it makes your eyes really pop,”

“Your skin is lookin’ flawless girl,”

You get the point.

I believe in myself and KNOW that I am beautiful not because someone says I am but because I truly AM beautiful.

Maybe your issue is not with believing that you’re gorgeous. Maybe you don’t feel good enough. Maybe you feel like you can’t do anything right. Maybe you’re struggling with feelings of inadequacies. Take hope, dear friend. No matter where you’re at, positive speaking will change the direction you’re going. 

It isn’t all that difficult, my friend. It all begins in your head.

I challenge you to start TODAY. Don’t wait until tomorrow or the next day. If you’re a procrastinator like I am, you’ll try to find the perfect way to start. Listen, there isn’t a perfect starter course out there. It all begins with YOU. 

So, no more excuses, dear friend. Today is the day, the time is now.

Put one step in front of the other and begin the journey to retraining your thoughts.